But before I begin, I'm going to give some back story to set up how our January 2015 began. As you know, I've been divorced and had three children with my ex. For those of you who read this blog and know my family, I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. I've purposely kept details off of my blog, but feel it's time to say what happened. I'm not going to go into great detail, but give a synopsis enough to know what's going on.
The drama started in 2012. I don't know the whole details about it, all I know is what I've seen from my side of things. It started in mid April 2012. One day it appeared that my ex was back together with his girlfriend as she was there when I picked up my kids from him, and the kids mentioned that they had got back together. Two weekends later when I picked up my kids, they were talking about some woman in Australia and told me that their dad had broke up with his girlfriend. Two weekends later, my kids mentioned that their dad wanted to marry said woman from Australia. I knew nothing more than that as my ex greatly lacked in telling me information that was pertinent to the lives of the children.
Then in June 2012 my ex quit his job and left for Australia where he married this woman. Basically he married a woman he met online and only knew online for about a month to a month and a half. He only met her in person two days before they got married. He'd have been better off if he would have just got a mail order bride. I didn't quite believe him when he told me that he knew her well enough to marry her and have her as a step-mother to our children. It doesn't take a genius to know that you can't know someone well enough after a month and a half of internet and Skype chat. So, understandably I was concerned. I knew my ex well enough to know that he wouldn't give me a straight answer as to her character. So I and my ex's first ex wife did some digging around online. Needless to say, the things we found were not good at all. She came across as a very mixed up, angry, and vindictive person. Which in talking to her family, we found out was quite true.
One of the things that she loves to brag about is how my ex quit his job and sold his truck all so he could go down to Australia, marry her, and bring her to America. It sounds all noble and grand when you word it that way. But the glaring truth she neglects to mention is that when he quit his job, he also stopped paying child support for his four children, my three and the one from his first marriage. He was also supposed to have medical insurance for our children. When he quit his job, he also dropped the health insurance. I found out the hard way that my children had no health insurance when I went to get a prescription filled for my daughter and it was denied. Trying to get a clear answer from my ex was useless. Nathan had, miraculously, gotten new insurance and was able to get my children on it before we even knew that we would have to use it.
When they got back to America, it became a living nightmare. The kids never knew what to expect, especially for Firebolt. One day the step-monster loved her and the next hated her. The kids would come home telling tales of the effort the step-monster would go through to convince them that I am a terrible mother. They would tell of screaming and yelling arguments between my ex and the step-monster. Firebolt would hold going to the bathroom as much as she could on the weekends she was there because the bathroom was so gross. They often went hungry. My ex went from someone who held a job and, for the most part, paid his child support to someone who went through job after job and fell way behind in child support.
There were a plethora of deceptions, manipulations, empty threats, vindictiveness, and lies coming from their end. During the summer of 2013, the kids were hid from me and then unexpectedly returned early to me at midnight from a tearful dad who said he didn't know when he would see them again. The kids were upset and confused. The kids told me that the step-monster was tired of dealing with them and there was an argument where she basically said, "it's the kids or me". During the ordeal where the kids were hid from me during that particular summer, I managed to get a hold of the kids, wherein Firebolt told me they had moved and gave me a description well enough for me to find them. But I had been told by my ex that he had taken the kids camping. When my ex found out that Firebolt gave away their lie, she was punished by being taken to her favorite restaurant and made to sit and watch while everyone else was allowed to eat. It was several weeks before she was allowed to go for weekend visits with her dad, her brothers all were allowed to go.....and it wasn't me refusing to send her either. The step-monster didn't want her there. But when they allowed her to come again, the step-monster treated her as her best friend.
The beginning of 2014 found my ex and I back in the courts. We were ordered to attend mediation, upon which he skipped out on the first attempt. He had some lame excuse he used but then later changed that excuse. In the end, we were ordered to attend mediation and he had to foot the bill for it all. Mediation brought a parenting plan which he agreed to and signed, but then ignored and tried to get out of by saying he didn't agree to it.
Now we come to the beginning of the end. In September of 2014, the step-monster got her four kids from Australia. My kids were not treated well after that. I'm not going to go into detail, but needless to say they were pretty much treated as second class citizens. Nathan and I had planned a trip to Mexico after Christmas. His three kids would be with his ex and my three kids with my ex, and it would be the perfect time to have a nice fun vacation. We had given Spaceman Spiff a phone for several reasons. One, his dad had given him a phone earlier in the year and then took it back. He said he needed it for calling Australia for court hearings to get the step-monster's kids here and promised to give it back when they were done but then never gave it back. Two, Spaceman Spiff is in junior high and took a carpool home and therefore needed a means of contacting them if he was going to be late. While we were in Mexico, my ex saw Spaceman Spiff with his phone and flipped out. He assumed that we gave him the phone so we could use it to spy on them. He flipped out at Spaceman Spiff to the point that he called my parents and told them to come get him. He later changed his mind and refused to let them take the kids. He also called me and left me a very interesting voice message......
Nathan and I had just spent a wonderful day playing in Mexico. We were just settling down for the night when we decided to link up to the wifi and check messages. In the message that my ex left, he stated that he didn't feel that Spaceman Spiff was his son and if we wanted to adopt him that we could. !!!!!!!!!! We debated on whether or not we should cut our vacation short and come home. In the end we realized that there wasn't anything we could do at the moment. We stayed and finished off our vacation but planned on taking my ex up on his offer when we got home..... That's the long, short of it. It's truly a crazy story, long enough to be a 700 + page drama. Now that I'm sitting on the January 2016 side of things, that story has been saved in the deep archives of our computer. One day, when the kids are old enough and want some answers I'll dredge it out for them. But for now, that's where it is and where I hope it stays.
Needless to say January 2015 got off with a bang!! But that's a story for tomorrow......
