The "entitlement" age is upon us. More and more we see and hear of children being raised to believe they are "entitled" to everything and shouldn't have to do an ounce of work to get it. More and more kids are becoming addicted to video games, t.v., and cell phones and becoming very lazy. We had a very wonderful General Conference this past weekend and there were several talks about the family and the very forces of evil working so hard to tear down the family and destroy it. So, what can we as parents do to raise up these precious children of God to do good and serve their fellow mankind and not get trapped in "entitlement"?
There are many things we can do, and these are the things that we, as a family, are trying to do. We pray as a family every morning and every night and we encourage private prayers any time, any place, and anywhere. We read scriptures every day as a family and encourage our children to read them on their own. We work very hard to set aside time for the kids to go off and read their scriptures by themselves every evening. We have Family Home Evening and activities. We have dinner together as a family around the dinner table. At our house a good, home cooked, healthy meal is the norm. Fast food is a reward and a treat and not indulged in very often. The kids need good, healthy food. It's a good start, but is it enough? Is that enough to rid our family from the "entitlement" bug?
There are other things we do in our home. We make sure the kids have daily chores they are responsible for. They also have to do their homework before they can play. We don't have cable in our home. We limit the amount of time the kids play on the computer, we encourage them to go outside and soak up that good sunshine. We don't allow violent video games into the home. We do a lot of spontaneous family fun, but we also plan times when we will get out of the house and have adventures as a family.
I thought I would share with you all some of the things we do around our house. We have chores, and I have this chore chart. Each room is broken down into what needs to be done every day and what needs to be done once a week. Each of us has a name tag and once a week we rotate through the rooms. That way no one person get's stuck doing the same thing over and over again. It gives the kids variety and then they also learn to do all of the tasks needed to run a home. We have a Summer chore schedule and a School chore schedule. During the summer, the kids can help with the vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, and scrubbing of the bathrooms, and they also get to help sort, wash, fold, and put away the laundry. Those are what I call "the bigger" chores that get done once a week on a specific day. There are every day chores that are simple, and easy to do. Quick cleaning to make that room look nice. During the school year, I take care of the "bigger chores" and the kids take care of the quick every day cleaning to keep the rooms looking nice. I do the big parts of the laundry but the kids have to collect all of the dirty clothes and they have to put it away when it's all clean. The chores aren't hard and don't take that long, especially when everyone is involved and everyone helps and everyone does their part.
THE PROBLEM: This school year, the kids have really been slacking off on their chores. I hate to say it, but the "entitlement" bug has bit us. They have been playing all morning before school when they should be doing their chores. They come home from school and do their homework, but then they want to play video games. And they haven't quite figured out why I just don't want to let them. None of their chores are done, which makes it hard for me to do my part. I end up having to do their chores for them just so I can vacuum. What is that teaching the kids? Not something I want them to learn certainly. They need to be helpful. I feel like I've been banging my head against a wall all year long. What can we do to get the kids motivated to be helpful? The other problem is that there are SIX of these monkeys running around the house and all SIX of them want to play video games. If I gave each of them an hour every day, that's SIX hours every day. Who has that kind of time to let their kids play SIX hours?!? Because these kids are like any other kids, even if they aren't playing, they want to be watching. I don't really want the kids in front of a computer or t.v. screen for SIX hours EVERY DAY!! And then where's the time, they have school, and homework, ballet, piano, gymnastics, scouts, and activity days. They don't get home from school until 3:40 in the afternoon. I'd literally have to let all of them stay up until past 10:00 pm just to give them each an hour of video game playing. And then they wouldn't get enough sleep to function properly at school. What kind of parent wants to do that to their kids!?!? Not this one for sure!!! And lets be honest, I have to play fair too. I can't let Space Man Spiff have an hour on the computer and then only let Lion Heart have 20 minutes. And I seriously don't think the kids need more than a half hour of video game playing per day. Even still with six kids and letting them have a half hour every day, that's three hours of computer and t.v. time. Not exactly ideal in my mind, but I can work with it.
THE SOLUTION: The kids have to earn time on the computer. The upstairs computer is only for 15 minute game play. The downstairs is for 30 minute game play. The kids can only play up to 30 minutes per day and they can earn the right to play longer on the weekend. There is no game play on Sunday. We bought these washers for different amounts of game play time. The small is five minutes, the medium is 10 minutes and the big one is 15 minutes. So, what is it the kids have to do to earn these "tokens"? For starters, they get a 5 minute game token for getting up quickly, getting dressed quickly, and eating breakfast in a timely manner. They can earn another 5 minutes for cleaning their rooms. They can earn yet another 5 minutes for doing their assigned room chore. The kids have to start getting ready to get out the door at 8:20 in the morning. So, they have the potential to earn another 5 minutes for getting everything done by 8:20. Just in one morning, they can earn 20 minutes of game time. And we give them plenty of time as we get them up at 7:00 every morning. When they get home from school they can earn another 5 minutes by doing their homework. Giving them 25 minutes of game time. They can also earn 5 minutes of game time every night by getting ready for bed quickly. All in all, we have it set that the kids can earn 30 minutes of game time every day. After homework is done, they are allowed to "buy" either 15 minutes of game play or 30 minutes of game play. If you don't do your chores, no game playing and it doesn't matter if you have game "tokens" or not. We've just started this and the kids are quite motivated. Their chores are getting done and I'm a much happier mommy. I think the kids will find that when they help around the house, that I will be more willing to let them do the fun things. And I have a few fun things planned and up my sleeves. I have a Pinterest board dedicated to fun activities for kids. I think the kids will find that Saturdays are going to become a lot more exciting with a happy mommy. This is something new and I'm sure there will be kinks and bugs to work out, but I'm hoping that it will teach the kids a few things and hopefully get the "entitlement" bug out of our house. And like all kids, they whine about it all, but hey, it's my responsibility as a parent to raise them up not only in the ways of truth and righteousness but to also raise them up to be good, healthy adults and productive members of society.
What do you do to help motivate your kids?
