The Little Redheaded Feller April 28,1918 to April 18, 2012

I had planned to make this tribute to my grandfather and had wanted to wait until his birthday at the end of the month.  However, today marks the one year anniversary of his passing.  And so I felt that today would be the better day to make this tribute to my grandfather.  I didn't grow up calling him “grandpa”.  I grew up calling him “Deem”.  And in my opinion, every girl should have a “Deem”.  He was the best grandpa a girl could ask for.  It was such a bitter sweet day when he died.  His health had been going downhill for many years and he suffered from Dementia.  Dementia is such a cruel disease stealing from its victims their memories and their minds.  Deem had such a memory and was one of the smartest people I know.  He had so many songs memorized that he would sing to us all of the time.  And his “Little Redheaded Feller” stories were the best.  Deem could spin a tale that would have you begging for more.  So, it was so very bitter to watch him waste away from the Dementia.  My uncle said it quite well when he said that he felt that for Deem being trapped in the Dementia must have been like a prison for him.  He could see Deem almost like he was holding onto the bars of his cell wanting to be free.  I had felt for a long time that my Deem, my hero, had been gone for years.  Even still, it was so bitter and hard for me to let go and say goodbye.  But then it was also very sweet.  So sweet because I know that Deem is no longer trapped and is free.  I know that he has returned home to our Heavenly Father and he is free from the Dementia and physical ailments.  I know that he is the Deem he used to be.  And even though I miss him, it is so sweet to know I will see him again.  So sweet to know that he’s looking down on me and helping when I need it, and sweet to know that he’s there on the other side rooting for me to make it back home.   And so sweet to know that he’s already got a chair set up in Heaven with my name on it.

Deem and Bammer and all the grandkids

Since his passing one year ago, I have had several wonderful experiences with him.  I believe in life after death.  I believe that death is just another door way into the next part of our journey.  I believe that our loved ones on the other side are there for us and that they do come and help us in times of need or sorrow.  I've had a couple of wonderful dreams where Deem was there.  I know that Deem was at the temple on the day that Nathan and I were sealed.  And just recently, Space Man Spiff was having some difficulty with bad dreams.  On one particularly hard evening, I knew that Deem was there to comfort Space Man Spiff.  We sat and talked about Deem and then Space Man Spiff became teary eyed because he could then feel Deem with us.    It is such a comfort to know that families can be together forever and that it is a part of Heavenly Father’s plan.  There will come a day when I will see my grandpa again and I am and always will be a part of his eternal family.

Me being a vulture

Going on a wheelbarrow ride around the circle

The raising of the flag.  Part of the Fourth of July tradition.

I have so many memories of Deem that bring such joy to recall to my memory.  Deem was always gentle and kind.  I don’t think I ever heard a harsh word come out of his mouth.  He loved children and there were many children everywhere who “adopted” him as their grandpa too.  My grandparents went on a mission to the Philippines, the children there fell in love with him and crowds of children would follow him where ever he went.  He was the pied piper of the children.  I can remember sitting on his lap while he was eating his ice cream and begging for bites.  He always called me his little “vulture” but would give me bites anyway.  And boy did Deem have a sweet tooth, especially for his homemade ice cream.  Nobody could make ice cream the way Deem could.  Deem was never too busy to stop and play with us or get us involved in helping him do what he was working on.  My grandparents lived way up in the tops of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.  The one whole side of the mountain we had named “Scarface”.  I spent many summers hiking Scarface with Deem.  I explored every inch of their yard.  Deem made toys for us to play on and a little hut for the girls.  (The boys had built their own three story hut under the direction of my older brother).  Deem would load us all up in his wheel barrow and take us for walks around the circle.  The Fourth of July was always a treat with the BBQ outside in the rocks, the watermelon seed spitting contests, the raising of the flag and the reading of the Constitution.  But my favorite part was the parade we put on.  Deem in the front as our fearless leader with the flag, the rest of us trailing behind with a hodge podge of children’s musical instruments.  Oh we played loud and we played off tune, but we marched around the circle with our heads held high to celebrate our Independence Day.  Deem always made me feel like I was the most beautiful and special person alive.  He always made me feel like I was the most important person.  I knew that Deem loved me and I knew he saw what Heavenly Father see’s in me.  I think the thing I love most about Deem is how special, important, and loved I am.  When I turned 16 Deem took me out on my first date.  We went out to dinner and a movie and I will never forget that special time I was able to have with him.  I think in this world that there would be many girls who would be embarrassed by having their grandpa taking them out on their first date, but I wouldn't go back and change it for the world.  My first date was with my grandpa and it is a memory that I hold very dear and special to me.  Because in his eyes I am a princess of the Most High God and he treated me as such.  He treated every woman that way.  He loved my grandma with all of his heart and talked about her with such love and reverence and had an undying devotion to her.  

One of the last pictures of Deem and Bammer before he got sick.

Deem and Bammer wedding

I had always felt so bad that my kids would never know the Deem I knew.  But by keeping his “Little Redheaded Feller” stories alive, I feel like I can give them a taste of what it was like.  We talk about Deem all of the time and I find myself reminiscing about my childhood and passing those stories onto my kids.  There will come a day when they will have the chance to get to know the Deem I know. 

Deem and Bammer on their mission to the Philippines

 I watch my kids with my dad now, and I see how he stops what he is doing to play with them.  I listen to the stories he tells them that keeps them begging for more.  I watch as he takes them on walks in the wheel barrow. I watch as he spoils them as all grandpas should.  I watch as he shares his Gatorade with them and gives them all marshmallows. I watch as he gets them involved in the things he’s doing.  I watch as my dad interacts with my kids in the same ways Deem interacted with me.  I see how excited the kids get when we tell them that Grandpa Deem is coming.  It makes my heart very happy to see the cycle continue. 

I love this picture of Grandpa Deem with Spider Monkey and Tiger Lily.  Grandpa Deem is Spider Monkey's hero just like Deem was mine.

Deem, I love you and I miss you.  You are my hero and the best grandpa a girl could ever wish for.  Until we meet again at Jesus Feet, may God be with you. 

Baby Deem

Deem in High School

A group of wild monkeys

We have a group of wild monkeys living at our house, six of them to be exact.  Six of the monkeys in this picture belong to us, the others are cousins.  And as usual, the kids are being.......well.....kids.  Raising six kids is fun, but can also be a challenge, especially when it's a mixed family.  But for all things considered our mixed family is mixing along pretty well.  But the one big question staring Nathan and I straight in the face is:  What can we do to raise these kids up to become healthy and productive members of society?

The "entitlement" age is upon us.  More and more we see and hear of children being raised to believe they are "entitled" to everything and shouldn't have to do an ounce of work to get it.  More and more kids are becoming addicted to video games, t.v., and cell phones and becoming very lazy.  We had a very wonderful General Conference this past weekend and there were several talks about the family and the very forces of evil working so hard to tear down the family and destroy it.  So, what can we as parents do to raise up these precious children of God to do good and serve their fellow mankind and not get trapped in "entitlement"?

There are many things we can do, and these are the things that we, as a family, are trying to do.  We pray as a family every morning and every night and we encourage private prayers any time, any place, and anywhere. We read scriptures every day as a family and encourage our children to read them on their own.  We work very hard to set aside time for the kids to go off and read their scriptures by themselves every evening.  We have Family Home Evening and activities.  We have dinner together as a family around the dinner table. At our house a good, home cooked, healthy meal is the norm.  Fast food is a reward and a treat and not indulged in very often.  The kids need good, healthy food.  It's a good start, but is it enough?  Is that enough to rid our family from the "entitlement" bug?

There are other things we do in our home.  We make sure the kids have daily chores they are responsible for.  They also have to do their homework before they can play.  We don't have cable in our home.  We limit the amount of time the kids play on the computer, we encourage them to go outside and soak up that good sunshine.  We don't allow violent video games into the home.  We do a lot of spontaneous family fun, but we also plan times when we will get out of the house and have adventures as a family.

I thought I would share with you all some of the things we do around our house.  We have chores, and I have this chore chart.  Each room is broken down into what needs to be done every day and what needs to be done once a week.  Each of us has a name tag and once a week we rotate through the rooms.  That way no one person get's stuck doing the same thing over and over again.  It gives the kids variety and then they also learn to do all of the tasks needed to run a home.  We have a Summer chore schedule and a School chore schedule.  During the summer, the kids can help with the vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, and scrubbing of the bathrooms, and they also get to help sort, wash, fold, and put away the laundry. Those are what I call "the bigger" chores that get done once a week on a specific day.  There are every day chores that are simple, and easy to do.  Quick cleaning to make that room look nice.  During the school year, I take care of the "bigger chores" and the kids take care of the quick every day cleaning to keep the rooms looking nice.  I do the big parts of the laundry but the kids have to collect all of the dirty clothes and they have to put it away when it's all clean.  The chores aren't hard and don't take that long, especially when everyone is involved and everyone helps and everyone does their part.

THE PROBLEM:  This school year, the kids have really been slacking off on their chores.  I hate to say it, but the "entitlement" bug has bit us. They have been playing all morning before school when they should be doing their chores.  They come home from school and do their homework, but then they want to play video games.  And they haven't quite figured out why I just don't want to let them.  None of their chores are done, which makes it hard for me to do my part.  I end up having to do their chores for them just so I can vacuum.  What is that teaching the kids?  Not something I want them to learn certainly.  They need to be helpful.  I feel like I've been banging my head against a wall all year long.  What can we do to get the kids motivated to be helpful?  The other problem is that there are SIX of these monkeys running around the house and all SIX of them want to play video games.  If I gave each of them an hour every day, that's SIX hours every day.  Who has that kind of time to let their kids play SIX hours?!?  Because these kids are like any other kids, even if they aren't playing, they want to be watching.  I don't really want the kids in front of a computer or t.v. screen for SIX hours EVERY DAY!!   And then where's the time, they have school, and homework, ballet, piano, gymnastics, scouts, and activity days.  They don't get home from school until 3:40 in the afternoon.  I'd literally have to let all of them stay up until past 10:00 pm just to give them each an hour of video game playing.  And then they wouldn't get enough sleep to function properly at school.  What kind of parent wants to do that to their kids!?!?  Not this one for sure!!!  And lets be honest, I have to play fair too.  I can't let Space Man Spiff have an hour on the computer and then only let Lion Heart have 20 minutes. And I seriously don't think the kids need more than a half hour of video game playing per day.  Even still with six kids and letting them have a half hour every day, that's three hours of computer and t.v. time.  Not exactly ideal in my mind, but I can work with it.

THE SOLUTION:  The kids have to earn time on the computer.  The upstairs computer is only for 15 minute game play.  The downstairs is for 30 minute game play.  The kids can only play up to 30 minutes per day and they can earn the right to play longer on the weekend.  There is no game play on Sunday.  We bought these washers for different amounts of game play time. The small is five minutes, the medium is 10 minutes and the big one is 15 minutes. So, what is it the kids have to do to earn these "tokens"?  For starters, they get a 5 minute game token for getting up quickly, getting dressed quickly, and eating breakfast in a timely manner.  They can earn another 5 minutes for cleaning their rooms.  They can earn yet another 5 minutes for doing their assigned room chore.  The kids have to start getting ready to get out the door at 8:20 in the morning.  So, they have the potential to earn another 5 minutes for getting everything done by 8:20.  Just in one morning, they can earn 20 minutes of game time.  And we give them plenty of time as we get them up at 7:00 every morning.  When they get home from school they can earn another 5 minutes by doing their homework.  Giving them 25 minutes of game time.  They can also earn 5 minutes of game time every night by getting ready for bed quickly.  All in all, we have it set that the kids can earn 30 minutes of game time every day.  After homework is done, they are allowed to "buy" either 15 minutes of game play or 30 minutes of game play.  If you don't do your chores, no game playing and it doesn't matter if you have game "tokens" or not.  We've just started this and the kids are quite motivated.  Their chores are getting done and I'm a much happier mommy.  I think the kids will find that when they help around the house, that I will be more willing to let them do the fun things.  And I have a few fun things planned and up my sleeves.  I have a Pinterest board dedicated to fun activities for kids.  I think the kids will find that Saturdays are going to become a lot more exciting with a happy mommy.  This is something new and I'm sure there will be kinks and bugs to work out, but I'm hoping that it will teach the kids a few things and hopefully get the "entitlement" bug out of our house.  And like all kids, they whine about it all, but hey, it's my responsibility as a parent to raise them up not only in the ways of truth and righteousness but to also raise them up to be good, healthy adults and productive members of society.

What do you do to help motivate your kids?

We have a plan

So as you can see here, there's just something wrong with my spine.  I have severe scoliosis.  These massive curve(s) to my spine have led to many surgeries.  Being pregnant, that leaves me in a precarious spot.....what's the birth plan??  I had my two oldest children pre-surgeries and was able to have an epidural.  Now I know there are women out there who fully believe in a natural child birth, but I'm not one of them.  If I can have some pain control, I'm going to want it.  With my youngest child, there was a slight problem with having an epidural, I'd already had some surgeries and the metal rods were in place.  I was left with no choice but to deliver him naturally.  Ladies and gentlemen, not a thing I ever want to do again if I can help it.  So, when we found out I was pregnant with Indy I immediately started thinking ahead to the birth.

Now I'm a through and through, "bleed blue" BYU Cougar fan.  I root for Cougar football and the whole bit. But when it comes down to my health care, there is NO better place than the U of U.  They are the specialists and know what they are doing.  Since they were the ones who did all of my surgeries it made perfect sense to go there for mine and the babies health care.

I've been blessed by going to the U, since they are the specialists, they have been able to follow Indy's development closely and make sure he's doing good.  And as of today I can report that Indy is healthy and growing in just the way he should.  But, with 68 days until my due date, I wanted a pain management plan in place for the birth.  So, today I met with the anesthesiology team to discuss the possibility of an epidural and if not, what the plan will be for pain management.

I didn't really think they would be able to do an epidural but wanted to ask anyway, and no surprises when they said that an epidural isn't possible.  For one, I don't have much of an epidural space anymore.  And two, the little bit of space I do have is compromised by bone grafts and metal rods, screws and hardware.  With all of the complexities of my spine, even if they could get an epidural in, there is no assurance that the medication would even go to the right spot.  And there is the risk of them missing and then I would have the worst headache ever with no medication to help alleviate it.  The doctors don't want to risk it and neither do I.  So, the next question is what is our plan?

Guys, I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit scared.  But I think we have a good plan and I feel okay with it.  We will start out with I.V. pain medications and use an "ace in the hole" of a fast acting, and good pain medication for the end.  Completely safe for me and baby and will help to keep me less stressed.  I don't have the flexibility to my spine to push out a baby without a lot of help along the way.  I feel better having met with the anesthesiology team.  They know what to expect, they know my medical history, they know my physical capabilities we are prepared ahead of time.  I won't be walking into delivery and throw them for a loop when they see my medical history.  All in all, I have complete Faith that everything will go well and I know I am in good hands at the U.    I feel blessed and to live in this day and age with all of the medical knowledge and know-how at our fingertips

Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens......

One of my all time favorite songs is from the "Sound of Music".
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

I can remember as a child when I would start feeling sad or scared that I would listen to this song and it would bring me comfort.  My parents had even found me this little basket of kittens that played that tune.  When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad.  And what, may you ask are my favorite things.

Jesus Christ

The gospel

My children

My husband

Whiskers on kittens

Chocolate

Costa Vida Sweet Pork Burrito

Cross stitching

Bright happy flowers

Warm sunshine

Family Parties

My cat

Hot summer days

All things bright, happy and sparkly (but not vampires)

Those are just a few, but when I simply remember my favorite things, then I don't feel so bad.  And now I really want to go watch the Sound of Music.

Adventures at the dinosaur park

We went on adventure to the Ogden Dinosaur Park today.   It was the perfect day to be outside.  The sunshine felt great and the kids have fun.  I think I may have got the first sunburn of the season.  Not an overly bad sunburn, but I can feel it on my face.  But hey, that's the price you pay when you love the sun like I do.

Hiding out in the "bat cave"

We were even massacred by dinosaurs.  

Very very dangerous......... dangerously CUTE!!!

BBQ children anyone?

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo....

We took Lion Heart, Firecracker, and Tiger Lily to the zoo and a couple of their cousins came along as well.  We had grand adventures, saw all of the animals, and had a great time.

This cute little elephant was taking a nap but all the kids were all worried that it had died.  It does kind of look that way, but rest assured, it is asleep

We got this great shot of the polar bear eating his fishy meal

Black bear chowing down on his lunch

I love the big cats.  Can't wait for the day when the lamb shall lay down with the lion.  Then I can play with these kitties.

Had a great time at the zoo.  

I looked out the window and what did I see?

Springtime brings me so much joy.  And what, may you ask is my favorite Primary song??  Popcorn popping on the Apricot tree, of course.  

"I looked out the window and what did I see?
Popcorn popping on the Apricot tree.
Spring has brought me such a nice surprise.
Popcorn popping right before my eyes.

I can take an armful and make a treat,
A popcorn ball that smells so sweet.
It wasn't really so,
But it seemed to me......
Popcorn popping on the Apricot tree."

Yesterday was a wonderful 71 degrees around these parts.  I wore shorts and it felt great.